Things considered normal in Mount Vernon, Illinois:
- A pair of “testicles” hanging from the truck hitch.
- Trash left at the curb for weeks on end.
- Full sets of living room furniture on a front porch, which is not enclosed.
- A baby in only a diaper drinking from a bottle with Ski in it. (If you need help with what "Ski" is, I'll enlighten you. I think it's the poor man's Mountain Dew. At least that's how I remember it from my childhood. It's big in these parts!)
- Random pre-school age children walking through a neighborhood.
- A train that consists of an engine and one cargo car covered in misspelled graffiti.
- A house painted neon purple.
- Sports flags used as curtains.
- One dry cleaner and 742 hair salons.
- 65 gas stations all within 1 mile of each other.
- Chicago Cubs paraphernalia.
- Jean overalls.
- Walking along the main highway pulling a child’s wagon while mumbling to yourself.
- No Starbucks.
- Fewer teeth than fingers.
- Mail delivered by postal workers in their personal vehicles.
It’s like living in Beverly Hills. *Insert eyeroll.*
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