For you

Things I should hate but just can’t:

Ke$ha

I just adore this kid. She’s all grimy and dirty. My kids know the words to all of her popular songs. Quite frankly, I belt them out louder than them! I even have You’re Love Is My Drug as my ring tone and I’m not a bit ashamed of it!

Lisa Rinna

I know I shouldn’t like her; she’s so happy and bubbly, the complete opposite of me. Maybe that’s why I just stop when I hear her voice. Love her!

Sarah Palin

I think I shouldn’t like her, but damned if I don’t LOVE her. I can’t wait to watch Sarah Palin’s Alaska on Sunday. I will vote for her if given the chance, count on that.

Drumsticks Ice Cream Cones

They make me sick as all hell. They even sent me into pre-term labor with the twins. Yet I still want to eat them and I do from time to time. I always feel yucky about 10 minutes later, but I still do it. Addictions are a nasty thang.

Bridezillas

While watching this freak show, I gasp and reel in horror at these girls’ attitudes and behaviors. But you can bet your ass I’ll watch every marathon WeTV wants to play. I secretly hope at least one of my girls is a Bridezilla. They deserve a free honeymoon for freaking out on TV.

Letting my kids say outrageous things

I have a terrible mouth. My mom always said my first word was “Damn”. And I think it’s true. I try not to use the big bad words in front of the kids, but I gotta drive with them in the same vehicle. So naughty words may pass my lips a little to easily and the kids pick them up and use them in their daily comedy routines called life.

Case in point: I was calling the kids down for breakfast this weekend, but Addy was taking her sweet ole time down the steps. I looked at her from the bottom and said, “Move your feet, Pete.” She said, (hand to God, who I also need to apologize to for the following sentence) “I’m coming, I’m coming, Jesus Christ.” So that hit me a little bit in the balls. Guess I really need to work on that sooner rather than later!

Oh also, Alexis and I saw a lady pushing a cart with a baby in it and her (the lady, not the baby) crack was in full plumber mode. Alexis looked at me and said, “Well, that’s going on Facebook, isn’t it? And look that poor baby. So embarrassing.” Alexis totally gets me.