Tales of a Housewife

First off…KID UPDATE

Last night, the lovely Addyson or Beans as we call her had a milestone. She was freakin’ out screaming after the other kids had fallen asleep. Turns out a loose tooth was scaring the beejebus out of her. Daddy held her in a nice hug and with a tiny tug, I extracted the meddlesome tooth! She looks so sweet missing that bottom toother! Check it out:

We put the tooth in an envelope and put it under her pillow. This morning she awoke to the smell of a crisp new Abraham Lincoln! 5 smackaroonies! This afternoon she bought a sucker. And then proceeded to drop the thing on the ground and I had to give her my candy. The things I do for my kids.

She also asked if she could put a quarter under her pillow and get the tooth back tonight. Wise girl. Not the sharpest crayon in the box, but she makes us laugh!

In other dental news, thanks to my 3+ years of Ambien use, my teeth have been jacked the F up. So since I quit the Am Bomb, I have had a buttload of reconstructive mouth work. Last on my list was a whitening job. I decided to use one of the at home jobs. I used this one:

I did 5 applications and I look nice! Back to my moneymaking smile. That may be an exaggeration, but I digress. That’s it for my dental updates.

And finally a true horror filled story to end your evening! I went to the TB (Taco Bell, playas) for dinna last night. As I was waiting for the huge order I have to make for my army, I heard Pour Some Sugar On Me. Naturally, I turned it up and mouthed right along. Clearly this order was going to be awhile. Who can spend $40 at TB? The Akerman’s that’s who.

So the end of the song was approaching, you know, when Joe Elliott says, “Sugar ME-HE” and drums drums drums. Well, just at that point, the cashier opened the window to hand me the last bag and I proceeded to forget who and where I was and I sang, “Sugar ME-HE” drums drums drums straight to her face. She stared at me blankly. I apologized, died and then drove off. I was horrified. But at least I gave her a nice story to share with the other TB staff. It sucks that I now have to wear a disguise to get a burrito.

I leave you with the sight I see every time I sit at my computer.

It’s my cat, Spike’s ass. Enjoy!

Love,

Stephanie