Stayin' Classy!

This has been bothering me for awhile but I’m just now getting around to bitching about it. I am the Queen of putting my foot in my mouth.  If I’m talking to someone who just happens to be gay, I will use the word gay and completely offend them. Happens every time, without fail.  If we’re having a conversation, no matter your religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation, I will insult you. I won’t mean to, but trust me it will happen. Especially if I’m at a formal get together. Everyone has to laugh uncomfortably; I have to turn beet red and stumble away leaving Curtis to apologize for his insane wife.

That’s the back story, here’s the reason for it. I went to get my hair cut a few weeks ago. Living in a small dump of a town leaves you few options for your ‘do, plus it was a Sunday and most things are closed on Sunday’s in hell. Onward, to the mall I go. I guess in a small town four shops, a nail salon, a hair salon and a Subway constitutes a mall. Oh and a Sears too. Needless to say, I went to the mall hair salon. It is not a franchise shop, it’s owned by some lady, and I’ll assume her name is June.

June’s employees, Scissors and Comb were left in charge of the place. Comb was washing her hair in the sink when I walked into the desolate store.  Scissors took me over to the open sink and asked me how I wanted my cut and got to scrubbin’ my scalp. Fast forward to me in the chair where Scissors began the cut and continued her small talk which is now consideration, The Life and Times of Scissors.

I’m learning all about the man she loves and the child she had just 8 months ago. I also learned about her wanting to go to The Olive Garden for dinner that night since Grandma had Baby Scissors. By the sound of it, this is probably just a normal conversation. Here’s the difference with Scissors. She peppered our conversation with “Retard” and the many forms of it. “I told Mr. Scissors that he was being retarded when he was late for work. He said I just got fired; I was like what a retard. Isn’t he the retardiest?”  The stylist used retard like a drunk,  crab fisherman uses the F bomb. I was completely insulted and it just dug deeper and deeper into my skin every time she said it.

Like I said, I say stupid stuff on the regular, but I always realize it and fall all over myself to either apologize or melt into the floor. This woman must use this slur on the constant! I should have said something, but like I’ve said before, I’m tough online, but a puss in real life. I will not however be going back there, that’ll show that dumb redneck!