Today’s Feature
Wal-Mart Vendors and Businesses In Wal-Mart
Vendors for Wal-Mart
Magazines
You never will actually see someone replace magazines; you will however see their carts filled with stacks of various magazines blocking the checkout lane. There will be plastic wrap and cashiers whispering about the magazines blocking their lanes and how they hope they never move the cart.
Register Drinks
There are two different coolers in your Wal-Mart; Coke and Pepsi. Every slot will always be filled EXCEPT for the soda or drink you desperately need to not die of thirst. I actually saw a Coke guy filling his cooler and a lady was standing in front of the Pepsi cooler and said, “Sorry, let me move.” He honest to God said, “That’s Pepsi, they stink. Feel free to stand there and block it all day.” I smiled. I hate Pepsi too, they do stink.
Chips and the Like
These guys like to make sure they are replenishing stock at the absolute busiest time. They usually have 4 huge carts filled with boxes of chips. Each box holds 3 bags of chips, so it takes days to refill the chip aisle. This is where it gets a little rough in Wal-Mart. Old women will cut a baby if its stroller is blocking her pretzels.
Little Debbie
The guy who refills for Little Debbie looks like he just got back from cutting down trees for Ax Men. He is always in a band t-shirt, usually Cheap Trick or Led Zeppelin, jeans shorts and brown work boots. He wears a Wal-Mart name badge that says “Little Debbie”, which I find hilarious that Little Debbie hired someone with the same name or he may have changed it for the company. Now that’s what a call a company man. I pretty much know this guy’s schedule, because if I don’t get my Little Debbie Coffee Cakes, someone’s getting hurt.
Businesses within Wal-Mart
Sport Clips, Haircuts or Cutting Edge
I don’t know the actual name of the hair salon in my local Wal-Mart. I do know that the clock on their wall is 20 minutes fast. I know, because every time I walk past it, I panic that I’m so late, and then I look at my watch for the real time. To be fair, they probably got that clock at Wal-Mart and it just tells whatever time it wants. Also, the women working in the salon do not have their own hair done there. There is no way. The chemicals wafting out of there would drop a buffalo. The only people who get any hair “job” done there are men from the local farm, elderly women who get dropped off by the retirement center’s bus and little boys whose dad works on the farm.
WoodFairy Bank
I don’t think that’s the name of the bank, but who really cares; it’s a Wal-Mart bank. These people love to stand with the greeter on a busy Saturday and jam ridiculous flyers in my face about opening a new checking account. Or a flyer that is announcing a cute baby contest, stupid pet contest or guess how old these mints on the counter are contest. They always have balloons for your idiot kids to scream for then immediately release them into the air as soon as you walk outside the building. The tellers are so happy to be there and want to cash your check for you. Whatever they’re on, I want some, as long as it’s not too expensive. It is Wal-Mart, so it’ll be cheap, but it won’t last too long.
Blimpos, Subbies or Wally Subs
These chain restaurants take up space that could be selling clearance items at over-inflated prices. Instead they pop corn constantly and force parents to shut their stupid kids up by purchasing some corn they popped last week. Apparently the fresh corn is thrown away every night; they only use it for the smells to enrage children. Oh and I think they sell sandwiches, I don’t know.
Nail Salon
These nail salons don’t really have the market covered yet, do they? Every town I’ve lived in has had more nail salons than children. So I guess it was logical to share some space with Wal-Mart. I guess I can see their point, most of the “women” who shop at Wal-Mart need to have some strange design air-brushed on their fingertips every few weeks. Thank you Vietnamese Nail Technicians, for filling a niche.
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